With my husband gone a lot, when the girls go to bed, I have a lot of time to think. Sometimes, this is a good thing. Lately, though, it’s been kind of oppressing—even bordering on depressing.
Baby number three is on the way and will probably make his appearance sometime in mid-June. Baby #3! What was I thinking? I have enough trouble with a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old, how am I going to handle a newborn baby?
I’ve never been the best housekeeper, but with a newborn, the time and energy I’ll have to clean will diminish even more. But I need to make sure the house is clean for the girls and for the baby.
On top of all that, what about my writing? When will I have time to write? When will I have the energy to even WANT to write? Will I make my goal to have an agent by the time I’m thirty?
Yes, these are probably all completely normal worries—and typically, I’m not much of a worrier. But lately, these things have just seemed so much bigger than I can handle (even if they’re really not).
A couple of days ago, I was pouring out my heart to God on the subject of feeling overwhelmed. While I was praying a song I used to sing in children’s choir came to mind. “I am a promise. I am a possibility...And I am learning to hear God’s voice and I am learning to make the right choices.”
Those words are only a small portion of the chorus, but as I prayed they spoke volumes to me. I was reminded of the Bible verse Phil. 1:6, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
I am still a work in progress. I am not perfect (well, duh). But by God’s grace, He will give me everything I need to balance my life. I have to keep myself open to His leading and train myself to listen for his voice. If I rely on Him, He will not fail me. He will give me the strength, patience, etc. that I need to move through this big change in my life.
God has plans to prosper me, not to harm me (Jer 33:11), and I know He won’t give me more than I can handle. So what is the use of worrying? Yes, my priorities may change. Writing may have to take a back seat for a few months. The girls and hubby may have to step up for a couple of months and help with the cleaning more than they usually do.
The best news of all is that this precious baby boy is a gift from God. He would not have given him to us if we were not prepared to take on the challenge. Praise the Lord!