Monday, May 17, 2010

I am a Promise

With my husband gone a lot, when the girls go to bed, I have a lot of time to think. Sometimes, this is a good thing. Lately, though, it’s been kind of oppressing—even bordering on depressing.

Baby number three is on the way and will probably make his appearance sometime in mid-June. Baby #3! What was I thinking? I have enough trouble with a 4-year-old and a 3-year-old, how am I going to handle a newborn baby?

I’ve never been the best housekeeper, but with a newborn, the time and energy I’ll have to clean will diminish even more. But I need to make sure the house is clean for the girls and for the baby.

On top of all that, what about my writing? When will I have time to write? When will I have the energy to even WANT to write? Will I make my goal to have an agent by the time I’m thirty?

Yes, these are probably all completely normal worries—and typically, I’m not much of a worrier. But lately, these things have just seemed so much bigger than I can handle (even if they’re really not).

A couple of days ago, I was pouring out my heart to God on the subject of feeling overwhelmed. While I was praying a song I used to sing in children’s choir came to mind. “I am a promise. I am a possibility...And I am learning to hear God’s voice and I am learning to make the right choices.”

Those words are only a small portion of the chorus, but as I prayed they spoke volumes to me. I was reminded of the Bible verse Phil. 1:6, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I am still a work in progress. I am not perfect (well, duh). But by God’s grace, He will give me everything I need to balance my life. I have to keep myself open to His leading and train myself to listen for his voice. If I rely on Him, He will not fail me. He will give me the strength, patience, etc. that I need to move through this big change in my life.

God has plans to prosper me, not to harm me (Jer 33:11), and I know He won’t give me more than I can handle. So what is the use of worrying? Yes, my priorities may change. Writing may have to take a back seat for a few months. The girls and hubby may have to step up for a couple of months and help with the cleaning more than they usually do.

The best news of all is that this precious baby boy is a gift from God. He would not have given him to us if we were not prepared to take on the challenge. Praise the Lord!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Ralene! I think you're right. It's normal to have worries and fears with any big changes that come into our lives. And as you said, it will take a few months to adjust. It will be more chaotic for a while. But with each child I've added, God's helped me to grow, he's enlarged my heart, and he's also helped me to fit in my writing. It's not easy. But he'll help you work it all out! Blessings!

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  2. Thank you for that perspective, Jody. It's nice to hear from someone who's been through this already. You are such an inspiration!

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  3. God never gives you more than you can handle. It's normal to have these worries but He'll help guide you when it gets rough. It's great to see you're looking to Him when these worries arise. You can do it!

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  4. Having three kids is challenging, but very rewarding at the same time. My kids are the inspiration behind many of my stories.

    You can do this, Ralene. We'll be there to support you every step of the way. :) As you said, your priorities will change. As long as you're flexible, you can adjust to almost any situation. That's what's great about being human. ;)

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