Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Little Discouraged

On Wednesdays, I like to blog about something that comes under the umbrella of "hope". Today, I am not feeling that hope. In fact, I'm the one in need of hope.

Normally, I don't show the world my more pessimistic side. I would not classify myself as a pessimist, however, there are certain aspects of my life that I tend to view in a more hopeless light. My health is one of those areas.

If you've known me for very long, you know I suffer from several ailments--diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure, and severe allergies. Most of the time, all of these (except the allergies) are managed quite well and I don't have many side effects.

Lately, though, my health has been out of control. My blood sugars are insane (even after the doc switched my meds), I've been having several asthma attacks a week, and though I have no proof, the shiny little spider-web thingies I see ever now and then tells me my blood pressure probably isn't doing all that great either.

And I'm discouraged.

I know that part of the problem (maybe most of it) lies in my diet and exercise (read: not following my diet, and the exercise I get is cleaning the house). Doc said I needed to lose the rest of my baby weight and that would help a lot.

This is my dilemma. I WANT to lose weight. I WANT to change my diet and start exercising more. I WANT to be healthy. I even go so far as to plan stuff out so that these things are included. I started planning my meals for the week so that I would buy the right groceries and always know what I was making so I wouldn't be tempted to go out to eat or make something less-than-healthy for me.

But then I always fail. Always.

I've even tried praying that God would imbue me with the continuing motivation to do this.

Then the morning comes and my blood sugar is insanely high (this morning, my fasting was 183 and it's supposed to be under 100) or my allergies are at their peak--and I just don't do it. I'll be too tired to exercise. I'll be too tired to make that salad for lunch. You can see the downward spiral.

I don't know what to do, so I'm coming to you all for help. I need prayer, lots of prayer. I need to turn my life around. I have the know-how, just not the energy/continuing motivation.

Enough about me. I think sometimes I can be too self-focused. What about you? Is there anything you are struggling with that you would like me to pray for?


  1. first off, ignore the horrible spelling lol i'm sleepy as heck and i dont type well when i'm tired. I've known you awhile, and disctinctly remember your allergies because if i remember correctly there was an incident with my sister being around you during gym and you ended up with a bee sting. anyhow, girl i've been trying to lose weight for the last year since my youngest was born, but i lack the motivation. i mean yes i want to fit into my clothes again, yes i want more energy, but with 2 kids in the house that are toddlers its hard, you know how that one is for sure. you're forced to be mom wife and sometimes dad as a military wife, its not an easy way of life. there are times when something just has to give, but your health should not be one of them. you have to remember that you need to get healthy so you're around for your kids for a long time to come. my sister recently just had bloodwork done because of my dad passing at such a young age a few months ago and found out she's got high choloesteral along with major thyroid issues which she's known about. Think about making small changes a fruit instead of something else for a snack, get the precut and premixed salad in bags...write down or keep track of what you eat, it'll show you what you can change instead of picking something you know you shouldnt. find someone other than yourself to be accountable to for what you a diet buddy in a way...ask your husband to help you with changing the way you eat because with a housefull, you cant just change your diet and the way you eat, the whole house has to make at least a lil change.

  2. Ralene, I am lifting you up in prayer. My heart's desire is that God will give you the strength you need to stand under these circumstances; the desire to reach for the promise of His healing; and the trust to believe that God is fully able to do this and more!

  3. Sweetheart, it's okay to talk about yourself when you're in need like this. You rarely do this sort of thing.

    You're human, you know?


    Please know you're loved and thought of and if there were ANYTHING i could do for you physically, I would do it. (stupid distance!)

    I'll even toss a little prayer out there, though it's not exactly my thing these days ((hug))

  4. Wow, Ralene, I just read your blog for the first time... It is so cool that you do this! You really have a talent for words and I had no idea about the extent of your writing until yesterday, way to go! On another note, so sorry you are having a tough time with your health- I know how discourageing it can be when nothing you try seems to work. Please know you are in my prayers and I really am right next door if you need anything. I don't take that lightly, I believe God brings the right people into our lives at the right time, and I am so glad we have finally "met". Plus, I could really use a work out buddy, so if your interested, I usually try to get out and at least walk or jog every day or every other day, we could set up something, perhaps? Hope you have a better day! - Tiffany

  5. Aww... Ralene! (((hug))) Don't be too hard on yourself. I remember what it was like to have two little kids and a baby to take care of. Not easy, and I didn't have any health problems, so I can only imagine. My suggestion? Baby steps. Learn from Connor! :) Don't try to do it all at once. Change one habit at a time, little by little, and celebrate each successful step.

    I'm sending a bucketload of prayers your way. You gave a lot, now it's time to receive.

  6. Oh mate :( Ralene, I'm so, so sorry to hear you are so poorly. First things first, you have young kids and that is the biggest drain in the world! On anyone! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Secondly, you're doing an amazing job of bringing up your beautiful kids, and you're doing it on your own. I couldn't even imagine how hard that is for you. It's a struggle with two!

    Ralene, you have done so much for me, I could never thank you enough even if I thanked you every single day for the rest of my life. You did this because you would do anything for anyone, your heart is so big. We need you so much Ralene. Your kids need you, your husband and your family and all your friends need you. I need you. If you're struggling to find the strength to do this for yourself, then please find the strength to do it for us, because we need you so much (((biggest hug ever)))

    I will pray my heart out!

  7. I'm wishing you strength and better health, but most of all - I'm wishing you a bit of selfishness. You cannot take care of yourself when you're taking care of everyone and everything else. You must learn to say "no" sometimes and DON'T beat yourself up for it.

    Exercise that is too regimented can be dull. An hour of walking through the neighborhood listening to your favorite up-beat tunes can be fun. I've gained and lost a lot of weight over the years. With exercise, you have to start small, but keep doing it.

    Habits are hard to break. But every day is a new day and a new chance to make a difference in your life.

    I think you're tougher than you know. I think you can do it!!

  8. Ralene,
    You are a treasured friend of mine and I love you, sister.

    I will pray. If there is any way I can help you otherwise, let me know. I'm happy to share recipes, etc. with you.

    I know how hard this is. Plateau seems to be where my body is stuck these matter how much I want to lose weight.

    One thing that has helped me and the way I feel is a spinach smoothie in the morning. Before you say eeeeeew, you don't really taste the spinach. Mix approximately one cup frozen fruit (dd likes pineapple, hubs and I like blueberries and strawberries), a handful of spinach, one truvia packet, and water to mix to the texture you want. It's filling, it makes you feel better, and it's highly dense nutrition. My whole family feels a difference in how they feel when they drink these.


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